Meet The Fellowship of the Lens'd Palm
A list of the members of our Conclave.
The Cinemania Society Podcast
Herein are chronicled the judgements of this not-so-secret society as its members scrutinize, criticize, analyze, brutalize, and otherwise vamp on the weirdest films in cinema history.
Listen on:
Episodes
Wednesday Jan 03, 2024
Wednesday Jan 03, 2024
The heretic renegades of the Cinemania Society have finally found some ground transport that keeps them out of the rain and cold, but Verifier Andy has something nefarious and diabolical planned for his turn as Pontifex of Presentment. The Society is forced to watch "How to Get Ahead in Advertising," yet another obscure British independent film, but this time another joint from HandMade Films, one that features Richard E. Grant delivering some truly maniacal monologues. It's Clockwork Orange time, bitches.
Written and performed by:
Andy Slack
Alessa Luz Martinez
Andrea Palladino
Daniel Scribner
Ethan Ireland
Hope Bravo
and Zacharia Berks
Music by Karl Casey at White Bat Audio
Incidental music and sound effects courtesy of Epidemic Sound
Sound design and editing by Ethan Ireland
(C) 2023 The Cinemania Society, LLC
Wednesday Dec 27, 2023
Wednesday Dec 27, 2023
LEGAL REPRESENTATIVES TAKE NOTE: This is a work of parody and/or satire; no statements made herein should be construed as accusations or statements of actual fact. Listeners who choose to play this sonic document do so at their own risk.
In this special super-extended Profile in Cinemania, researched, written, and performed by Profligator Daniel, our listeners are presented with a dubious deep dive into one of the weirdest individuals to ever exist in the multiverse, one Louis Whitley Strieber: retired marketing guru, author of "The Hunger," hack novelist, self-confessed alien abductee, and podcast host. Listen with caution, for infection with CINEMANIA is assured.
Caricature art by Andy Slack at andyslackcomics.com
Music by Karl Casey at White Bat Audio
Tracks Used: "Androids & Sentient Beings," "Gravity," "Convergence," and "Black Rainbows."
Incidental music and sound effects courtesy of Epidemic Sound
"The Summoning" by Scott Buckley appears under Creative Commons License 4.0 International (CC-BY 4.0). Visit https://soundcloud.com/scottbuckley/ for more tracks by this artist.
Wednesday Dec 20, 2023
Wednesday Dec 20, 2023
This story of high adventure features a sketchy archaeologist in over his head who is faced with the hardest choice of his life.
It was originally published in the October, 1988 issue of Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine and appears here by permission of the author.
Performed by Phil Ryder
Sound design & editing by Ethan Ireland
Music by Karl Casey at White Bat Audio
Incidental music and sound by Epidemic Sound
Wednesday Dec 13, 2023
Wednesday Dec 13, 2023
The heretic renegades of the Cinemania Society find themselves on the outskirts of an abandoned futurecore theme park (legally distinct from any other futurecore theme park you might be imagining), where they decide to hold their next Conclave examining the blockbuster sci-fi action spectacular from 1990, Total Recall! One can only imagine what manner of dreadful encounters the gang might have as they skulk through the rusting beams and mildewed thrill rides of this once grand (but oddly Soviet) playground of the people...
Special thanks to Melinda with Miracle Forest Sound for the ambience track.
Visit her YouTube page at https://www.youtube.com/@themiracleforest or her Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com/miracleforest to support her dedication to making beautiful ambient tracks!
Wednesday Dec 06, 2023
Wednesday Dec 06, 2023
Listen in horror as we play for you the secret recordings recorded secretly (secretly, I tell you!) as the Cinemania High Council convened a meeting during its office holiday party to discuss the progress on eliminating the heretic renegades formerly known as the Cinemania Society Chapter #35.
Wednesday Nov 29, 2023
Wednesday Nov 29, 2023
The heretic renegades of the Cinemania Society are safe, having fled some Cinemassassin-Cosmonauts bent on murdering the s**t out of them. They take refuge in one of the exhibits within the abandoned futurecore theme park (legally distinct from all other futurecore theme parks), and having concluded their Conclave examining the sci-fi action schlock-tacular Total Recall, render judgement.
Special thanks to Melinda with Miracle Forest Sound for the ambience track.
Visit her YouTube page at https://www.youtube.com/@themiracleforest or her Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com/miracleforest to support her dedication to making beautiful ambient tracks!
Wednesday Nov 22, 2023
Wednesday Nov 22, 2023
The heretic renegades of the Cinemania Society, having entered the premises of an abandoned Soviet futurecore theme park, continue their Conclave examining the blockbuster sci-fi action spectacular from 1990, Total Recall! Perils await the unwary...
Special thanks to Melinda with Miracle Forest Sound for the ambience track.
Visit her YouTube page at https://www.youtube.com/@themiracleforest or her Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com/miracleforest to support her dedication to making beautiful ambient tracks!
Wednesday Nov 15, 2023
Wednesday Nov 15, 2023
This is the episode we had intended to publish back in September, but which we had to recall because SAG-AFTRA clarified its position for us on podcasts like ours, and we did not want to cross the picket line. Now that the SAG-AFTRA strike has been suspended, we are proceeding with publication of this series.
We apologize for the error in upload on 11/15/23. The file has since been repaired and should play normally.
The heretic renegades of the Cinemania Society find themselves on the outskirts of an abandoned futurecore theme park (legally distinct from any other futurecore theme park you might be imagining), where they decide to hold their next Conclave examining the blockbuster sci-fi action spectacular from 1990, Total Recall! One can only imagine what manner of dreadful encounters the gang might have as they skulk through the rusting beams and mildewed thrill rides of this once grand (but oddly Soviet) playground of the people...
Special thanks to Melinda with Miracle Forest Sound for the ambience track.
Visit her YouTube page at https://www.youtube.com/@themiracleforest or her Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com/miracleforest to support her dedication to making beautiful ambient tracks!
Cinquisitor Ethan,
Keeper of the Lenses
Brother Ethan is an award-winning filmmaker who has more than 20 years professional work in film & television production. He has worked on more than a dozen feature films, and has directed & produced several of his own projects: documentary features and short films. He is best recognized for the work he did on four seasons on the hit YouTube comedy series Smosh.
A self-styled intellectual, Cinquisitor Ethan has put many thousands of hours studying cinema apocrypha for interesting tidbits, and combing through the history for cinema for sources of CINEMANIA in order to study the devastating effects of this condition.
CINEMANIA Manifestations: The disorder in Cinquisitor Ethan can be fairly easy to observe. Although he is purportedly a native of California, when CINEMANIA begins to take hold in Cinquisitor Ethan, his accent becomes increasingly elaborate. He will shift into a Midatlantic accent, and even into an RP accent depending on the severity of the episode he is suffering. This can happen multiple times in a given conclave.
Verifier Andy,
Master Illuminator
Perhaps our most mysterious member, Brother Andy lurks somewhere in darkest Albion, magically honing his skills in comedy and illustration to a razor's edge.
Brother Andy's internet comics, including The Wisdom of Leto II and its sequel, FremCops, have achieved notoriety from their appearances in various Facebook shitposting groups such as Dune Sietchposting, Star Trek Shitposting, and others. He has these and numerous other self-published sci-fi & fantasy comics available on at andyslackcomics.com, and for sale on Ko-Fi.
In case you're wondering, no, he is not really Jack Black, so don't ask.
Scrutinizer Zacharia,
Guardian of the Door
A veteran of theater production, Brother Zacharia graduated from film school at California State University, Monterey Bay along with Brother Ethan, who has been his decades-long accomplice in the commission of cinematic crimes.
Brother Zacharia is a third-generation artist, descended from a line of visual artists, and has put much study into the causes and effects of CINEMANIA.
Profligator Daniel,
Possessor of the Word
Hailing from New Jersey, Brother Daniel writes for theater, literature, and cinema esoterica. He is somewhat of an expert on Troma Films, and was trained in writing short fiction by Harlon Ellison.
Profligator Daniel is the primary caregiver of Brother Clark-Nova, who is an unholy amalgamation of equal parts cockroach, manual typewriter, and portions of human anatomy best left unseen.
Arbiter Alessa,
Voice from the Outer World
Our youngest member, Arbiter Alessa attended film school in Los Angeles after producing a feature film of her own while still in high school. She has experience working professionally on features and shorts, and is a working voice actor for several notable anime series including Genshin Impact and Onyx Equinox.
Arbiter Alessa recently went on an extended vacation to Altair IV, where she encountered an atomic super-robot similar to (and more importantly, legally distinct from) Robby the Robot. After taking her new plastic pal on an interstellar pub-crawl, she returned to the Strip Mall of the Damned with the machine in tow, where she has since conducted several experiments on it (including the downloading of the entire internet into the robot's databanks).
Professor Andrea,
Scholar of San Francisco
Professor Andrea holds multiple degrees in film, Spanish, and music; and has taught all three. She has a deep knowledge of film history, and a history of work in film production, including on films with Cinquisitor Ethan.
Auntie Hope,
Keeper of the Books
Hope is a relative newcomer to the Society, and to the field of CINEMANIA as a whole. She granted herself membership status and a title after the Society were responsible for unleashing a horde of cannibalistic humanoid underground mutant people (C.H.U.M.P.s) that destroyed her family-friendly occult bookstore, The Laughing Tome. She intends to be as underfoot as possible until her store is repaired.