Meet The Fellowship of the Lens'd Palm
A list of the members of our Conclave.
The Cinemania Society Podcast
Herein are chronicled the judgements of this not-so-secret society as its members scrutinize, criticize, analyze, brutalize, and otherwise vamp on the weirdest films in cinema history.
Listen on:
Episodes
Wednesday Feb 28, 2024
Wednesday Feb 28, 2024
In anticipation of our next conclave on one of the first films to be produced under the Hays Code, we are re-releasing our Profile in Cinemania on William H. Hays, the disgraced Harding-era politician who made it his mission to impose "moral values" on cinema.
Wednesday Feb 21, 2024
Wednesday Feb 21, 2024
In this short story, an Old West sheriff encounters a traveling medicine show.
Remedy is ©2015 by Patrick Ireland. It appears here for the first time anywhere, and by permission of the author.
With Mark Hoffman as the Sheriff
Andy Slack as Dr. Mumford
and additional voices by Ethan Ireland and Hope Bravo
Production, sound design & editing by Ethan Ireland
Theme music by Karl Casey at White Bat Audio
Incidental music and sound effects courtesy of Epidemic Sound
Wednesday Feb 14, 2024
Wednesday Feb 14, 2024
Presented in its entirety for your listening convenience is a compilation of our episodes from our 12th conclave held on "How to Get Ahead in Advertising," yet another obscure British independent film featuring Richard E. Grant. It's Clockwork Orange time, bitches.
Written and performed by:
Andy Slack
Alessa Luz Martinez
Andrea Palladino
Daniel Scribner
Ethan Ireland
Hope Bravo
and Zacharia Berks
with special guest Miles Miniaci
Music by Karl Casey at White Bat Audio
Incidental music and sound effects courtesy of Epidemic Sound
Sound design and editing by Ethan Ireland
(C) 2023 The Cinemania Society, LLC
Wednesday Feb 07, 2024
Wednesday Feb 07, 2024
Not long after his vicious betrayal of the society and our abduction into the now-defunct cinema palace somewhere in that one flyover state, Verifier Andy personally tried to make up for his betrayal to me by arranging an interview with someone relevant to the conclave we’d just held: puppeteer extraordinaire, Mike Quinn. Best known for his portrayal of Nien Nunb in that one movie about the return of a space wizard and his trusty laser sword, Mr. Quinn is better known to us in the Cinemania Society as “the puppeteer who got the talking boil to do its thing in How to Get Ahead in Advertising,” which as you’ll hear was a bit of a surprise to him. We’re grateful to Mr. Quinn for his generosity, both of time and of spirit. Presented here for your listening pleasure is the complete and unedited interview with Mike Quinn.
Wednesday Jan 31, 2024
Wednesday Jan 31, 2024
Now that the heretic renegades of the Cinemania Society have gotten themselves free, the cinema palace has been turned to rubble, and Verifier Andy has been subdued, the only way out is indeed through. Once begun a Conclave must be concluded, so The Society renders its judgement on "How to Get Ahead in Advertising," a little-known British independent film from 1989, featuring Richard E. Grant.
Written and performed by:
Andy Slack
Alessa Luz Martinez
Andrea Palladino
Daniel Scribner
Ethan Ireland
Hope Bravo
and Zacharia Berks
With special guest Miles Miniaci
Music by Karl Casey at White Bat Audio
Incidental music and sound effects courtesy of Epidemic Sound
Sound design and editing by Ethan Ireland
(C) 2023 The Cinemania Society, LLC
Wednesday Jan 24, 2024
Wednesday Jan 24, 2024
Cinquisitor Ethan recounts the rise and fall of ex-Beatle George Harrison's once-great (but now defunct) film production company, HandMade Films. This was the British mini-major responsible for some of the greatest sources of CINEMANIA ever to erupt out of Perfidious Albion, including Time Bandits, The Long Good Friday, Withnail and I, and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. Listen to this tragic tale of good intentions brought low by self-dealing, and raise a glass to toast what was and what might have been.
Written by Ethan Ireland
Performed by Ethan Ireland and Andy Slack
Caricature art by Andy Slack at andyslackcomics.com
Music by Meteor at meteormusic.bandcamp.com
Tracks Used: "Thaumogenesis," "Suspended in Time," "Smoke Trails," and "The Fog."
LEGAL REPRESENTATIVES TAKE NOTE: This is a work of parody and/or satire; no statements made herein should be construed as accusations or statements of actual fact. Listeners who choose to play this sonic document do so at their own risk.
Wednesday Jan 17, 2024
Wednesday Jan 17, 2024
Verifier Andy's betrayal has borne fruit! The heretic renegades of the Cinemania Society are forced to continue their 12th conclave, having been strapped into chairs Clockwork Orange-style and forced to watch a kooky and obscure British satire from 1989, "How to Get Ahead in Advertising," featuring Classic Loki portrayer, Richard E. Grant. All nefariousness contains the seeds of its own demise however, and it Scrutinizer Zacharia may be having a massive allergic reaction (à la Akira) to whatever it was Andy put in everyone's tea...
Written and performed by:
Andy Slack
Alessa Luz Martinez
Andrea Palladino
Daniel Scribner
Ethan Ireland
Hope Bravo
and Zacharia Berks
Music by Karl Casey at White Bat Audio
Incidental music and sound effects courtesy of Epidemic Sound
Sound design and editing by Ethan Ireland
(C) 2023 The Cinemania Society, LLC
Wednesday Jan 10, 2024
Wednesday Jan 10, 2024
Verifier Andy presents a Profile in Cinemania on everyone's favorite Swazi-British actor, Richard E. Grant, portrayer of manic reprobates and impersonator of the Marvel Classic Loki.
LEGAL REPRESENTATIVES TAKE NOTE: This is a work of parody and/or satire; no statements made herein should be construed as accusations or statements of actual fact. Listeners who choose to play this sonic document do so at their own risk.
Caricature art by Andy Slack at andyslackcomics.com
Music by Karl Casey at White Bat Audio
Tracks used: "Diamond Eye"
Cinquisitor Ethan,
Keeper of the Lenses
Brother Ethan is an award-winning filmmaker who has more than 20 years professional work in film & television production. He has worked on more than a dozen feature films, and has directed & produced several of his own projects: documentary features and short films. He is best recognized for the work he did on four seasons on the hit YouTube comedy series Smosh.
A self-styled intellectual, Cinquisitor Ethan has put many thousands of hours studying cinema apocrypha for interesting tidbits, and combing through the history for cinema for sources of CINEMANIA in order to study the devastating effects of this condition.
CINEMANIA Manifestations: The disorder in Cinquisitor Ethan can be fairly easy to observe. Although he is purportedly a native of California, when CINEMANIA begins to take hold in Cinquisitor Ethan, his accent becomes increasingly elaborate. He will shift into a Midatlantic accent, and even into an RP accent depending on the severity of the episode he is suffering. This can happen multiple times in a given conclave.
Verifier Andy,
Master Illuminator
Perhaps our most mysterious member, Brother Andy lurks somewhere in darkest Albion, magically honing his skills in comedy and illustration to a razor's edge.
Brother Andy's internet comics, including The Wisdom of Leto II and its sequel, FremCops, have achieved notoriety from their appearances in various Facebook shitposting groups such as Dune Sietchposting, Star Trek Shitposting, and others. He has these and numerous other self-published sci-fi & fantasy comics available on at andyslackcomics.com, and for sale on Ko-Fi.
In case you're wondering, no, he is not really Jack Black, so don't ask.
Scrutinizer Zacharia,
Guardian of the Door
A veteran of theater production, Brother Zacharia graduated from film school at California State University, Monterey Bay along with Brother Ethan, who has been his decades-long accomplice in the commission of cinematic crimes.
Brother Zacharia is a third-generation artist, descended from a line of visual artists, and has put much study into the causes and effects of CINEMANIA.
Profligator Daniel,
Possessor of the Word
Hailing from New Jersey, Brother Daniel writes for theater, literature, and cinema esoterica. He is somewhat of an expert on Troma Films, and was trained in writing short fiction by Harlon Ellison.
Profligator Daniel is the primary caregiver of Brother Clark-Nova, who is an unholy amalgamation of equal parts cockroach, manual typewriter, and portions of human anatomy best left unseen.
Arbiter Alessa,
Voice from the Outer World
Our youngest member, Arbiter Alessa attended film school in Los Angeles after producing a feature film of her own while still in high school. She has experience working professionally on features and shorts, and is a working voice actor for several notable anime series including Genshin Impact and Onyx Equinox.
Arbiter Alessa recently went on an extended vacation to Altair IV, where she encountered an atomic super-robot similar to (and more importantly, legally distinct from) Robby the Robot. After taking her new plastic pal on an interstellar pub-crawl, she returned to the Strip Mall of the Damned with the machine in tow, where she has since conducted several experiments on it (including the downloading of the entire internet into the robot's databanks).
Professor Andrea,
Scholar of San Francisco
Professor Andrea holds multiple degrees in film, Spanish, and music; and has taught all three. She has a deep knowledge of film history, and a history of work in film production, including on films with Cinquisitor Ethan.
Auntie Hope,
Keeper of the Books
Hope is a relative newcomer to the Society, and to the field of CINEMANIA as a whole. She granted herself membership status and a title after the Society were responsible for unleashing a horde of cannibalistic humanoid underground mutant people (C.H.U.M.P.s) that destroyed her family-friendly occult bookstore, The Laughing Tome. She intends to be as underfoot as possible until her store is repaired.