Meet The Fellowship of the Lens'd Palm
A list of the members of our Conclave.
The Cinemania Society Podcast
Herein are chronicled the judgements of this not-so-secret society as its members scrutinize, criticize, analyze, brutalize, and otherwise vamp on the weirdest films in cinema history.
Listen on:
Episodes
Wednesday May 22, 2024
Wednesday May 22, 2024
The heretic renegades of the Cinemania Society, having escaped maroonment (is that even a word?) on a deserted island Puerto Rico, have finally made their way to a corner of Earth so vile and hated that nobody would want to go, in the desperate hopes that the Cinemassassins on their trail would not dare to follow. As they rest and recuperate in an abandoned church, Auntie Hope, Keeper of the Books Booze, is reminded of her Catholic School education, which reminds her in turn of Kevin Smith's 1999 film "Dogma," and calls a conclave to order.
Wednesday May 15, 2024
Wednesday May 15, 2024
We celebrate the life and times of Patient Zero for CINEMANIA, the King of Schlock, Roger Corman, a man who shaped the modern cinema landscape far more than anyone would have ever believed. Listen and be astounded.
Written by Ethan Ireland and Andy Slack, and performed by Ethan Ireland
Caricature Art by Andy Slack Comics
Music by Meteor at meteormusic.bandcamp.com
Tracks used: "J-70" and "Richtofen."
This work is protected as work of satire and/or parody and should not be construed as fact.
Wednesday May 08, 2024
Wednesday May 08, 2024
Not long ago was the second death-iversary of the world's greatest irritainer, Gilbert Gottfried. We treat our listeners, new and old, to our Profile in Cinemania on the man. For those fans of Frank Herbert's Dune, this includes Gottfried's rendition of "The Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear," originally commissioned by Cinquisitor Ethan in 2021. Stay tuned: next Wednesday begins an entirely new run of content...
Wednesday May 01, 2024
Wednesday May 01, 2024
Another of our early Profiles in Cinemania for our new listeners, one on everyone's favorite murderous clown-slash-Sweet Transvestite from Transsexual Transylvania, Tim Curry.
Wednesday Apr 24, 2024
Wednesday Apr 24, 2024
Our very first Profile in Cinemania, one on Peter Weller, is presented here for our new listeners.
Wednesday Apr 17, 2024
Wednesday Apr 17, 2024
Collected all in one place for your listening convenience is the Society's odyssey to a mysterious island and its review & analysis of the 1932 film "Island of Lost Souls."
Wednesday Apr 10, 2024
Wednesday Apr 10, 2024
This early '80s crime drama gives the listener some insight into why it's always smart to treat the folks who work in service well, especially if you're up to no good...
Cheapskate is ©1983 by Patrick Ireland. It was originally published in the October, 1988 issue of Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine and appears here by permission of the author.
Performed by Daniel Scribner and Ethan Ireland
Production, sound design & editing by Ethan Ireland
Music by Karl Casey at White Bat Audio
"The Investigator" by Brian Bennett appears under license from APM Music (apmmusic.com)
Sound effects courtesy of Epidemic Sound
Very special thanks to Alexandros Kadadakis and Ziv Lang for making this episode possible.
Wednesday Apr 03, 2024
Wednesday Apr 03, 2024
Things are getting desperate as the gang finds itself stranded on the beach of a mysterious island, without food, water, or competently-constructed shelter. To take their minds off their rumbling tummies, The Society deliberates over and renders judgement upon the 1932 film, "The Island of Lost Souls."
Cinquisitor Ethan,
Keeper of the Lenses
Brother Ethan is an award-winning filmmaker who has more than 20 years professional work in film & television production. He has worked on more than a dozen feature films, and has directed & produced several of his own projects: documentary features and short films. He is best recognized for the work he did on four seasons on the hit YouTube comedy series Smosh.
A self-styled intellectual, Cinquisitor Ethan has put many thousands of hours studying cinema apocrypha for interesting tidbits, and combing through the history for cinema for sources of CINEMANIA in order to study the devastating effects of this condition.
CINEMANIA Manifestations: The disorder in Cinquisitor Ethan can be fairly easy to observe. Although he is purportedly a native of California, when CINEMANIA begins to take hold in Cinquisitor Ethan, his accent becomes increasingly elaborate. He will shift into a Midatlantic accent, and even into an RP accent depending on the severity of the episode he is suffering. This can happen multiple times in a given conclave.
Verifier Andy,
Master Illuminator
Perhaps our most mysterious member, Brother Andy lurks somewhere in darkest Albion, magically honing his skills in comedy and illustration to a razor's edge.
Brother Andy's internet comics, including The Wisdom of Leto II and its sequel, FremCops, have achieved notoriety from their appearances in various Facebook shitposting groups such as Dune Sietchposting, Star Trek Shitposting, and others. He has these and numerous other self-published sci-fi & fantasy comics available on at andyslackcomics.com, and for sale on Ko-Fi.
In case you're wondering, no, he is not really Jack Black, so don't ask.
Scrutinizer Zacharia,
Guardian of the Door
A veteran of theater production, Brother Zacharia graduated from film school at California State University, Monterey Bay along with Brother Ethan, who has been his decades-long accomplice in the commission of cinematic crimes.
Brother Zacharia is a third-generation artist, descended from a line of visual artists, and has put much study into the causes and effects of CINEMANIA.
Profligator Daniel,
Possessor of the Word
Hailing from New Jersey, Brother Daniel writes for theater, literature, and cinema esoterica. He is somewhat of an expert on Troma Films, and was trained in writing short fiction by Harlon Ellison.
Profligator Daniel is the primary caregiver of Brother Clark-Nova, who is an unholy amalgamation of equal parts cockroach, manual typewriter, and portions of human anatomy best left unseen.
Arbiter Alessa,
Voice from the Outer World
Our youngest member, Arbiter Alessa attended film school in Los Angeles after producing a feature film of her own while still in high school. She has experience working professionally on features and shorts, and is a working voice actor for several notable anime series including Genshin Impact and Onyx Equinox.
Arbiter Alessa recently went on an extended vacation to Altair IV, where she encountered an atomic super-robot similar to (and more importantly, legally distinct from) Robby the Robot. After taking her new plastic pal on an interstellar pub-crawl, she returned to the Strip Mall of the Damned with the machine in tow, where she has since conducted several experiments on it (including the downloading of the entire internet into the robot's databanks).
Professor Andrea,
Scholar of San Francisco
Professor Andrea holds multiple degrees in film, Spanish, and music; and has taught all three. She has a deep knowledge of film history, and a history of work in film production, including on films with Cinquisitor Ethan.
Auntie Hope,
Keeper of the Books
Hope is a relative newcomer to the Society, and to the field of CINEMANIA as a whole. She granted herself membership status and a title after the Society were responsible for unleashing a horde of cannibalistic humanoid underground mutant people (C.H.U.M.P.s) that destroyed her family-friendly occult bookstore, The Laughing Tome. She intends to be as underfoot as possible until her store is repaired.