Meet The Fellowship of the Lens'd Palm
A list of the members of our Conclave.
The Cinemania Society Podcast
Herein are chronicled the judgements of this not-so-secret society as its members scrutinize, criticize, analyze, brutalize, and otherwise vamp on the weirdest films in cinema history.
Listen on:
Episodes
Wednesday Dec 28, 2022
Wednesday Dec 28, 2022
In the second part of our Season 1 finale, the Society pulls an Arthur Dent to try to stave off the inevitable, then are arrested and carted off to jail. Throughout, they keep a steely-eyed mission focus, and continue their Conclave on Ralph Bakshi's 1977 post-apocalyptic adult cartoon feature "Wizards" despite the intervention of civic and legal authorities...
FEATURING:
Ethan Ireland, formerly of Smosh (seasons 2009-2012)
Hope Bravo, former keeper of The Laughing Tome, a family friendly occult bookstore
Andy Slack, comic artist / internet comedian of Dune Sietchposting & Star Trek Shitposting
Andre Luc Martinez, of Genshin Impact and Onyx Equinox.
Zacharia Berks, of Dead Tone and Space Pope Egregious 1
Daniel Scribner, author extraordinaire
Trigger warnings include sex and violence.
WARNING: EXPLICIT CONTENT. STRONG LANGUAGE & ADULT THEMES.
Wednesday Dec 21, 2022
Wednesday Dec 21, 2022
The final Profile in this year's inventory is a VHS tape that contains a biography on everyone's favorite typecast galactic hero turned villainous clown-slash-Twitter superuser, Mark Hamill. We don't know what's going to happen to the Strip Mall of the Damned, but this was the last tape we were able to smuggle out the door in our underwear.
Written by Ethan Ireland, Andrea Palladino, and Andy Slack
Performed by Ethan Ireland
Mixing, mastering & sound design by Ethan Ireland
Music tracks: "Hope" by Magic Sword, used under license from Terrorbird Music, Inc.
Visit our website at http://thecinemaniasociety.podbean.com/ for more Profiles in Cinemania, our conclaves where we scrutinize and judge the weirdest films in cinema history, the incomparable art of Andy Slack, and more!
Legal notice: this is a work of parody.
Wednesday Dec 14, 2022
Wednesday Dec 14, 2022
In the first part of our Season 1 finale, the Society has a horrifying encounters with an act of unmitigated savagery, and a bit of other bad news, then assembles a Conclave to anesthetize itself from the impending jaws of fate with Ralph Bakshi's 1977 post-apocalyptic adult cartoon feature "Wizards."
FEATURING:
Ethan Ireland, formerly of Smosh (seasons 2009-2012)
Hope Bravo, former keeper of The Laughing Tome, a family friendly occult bookstore
Andy Slack, comic artist / internet comedian of Dune Sietchposting & Star Trek Shitposting
Andre Luc Martinez, of Genshin Impact and Onyx Equinox.
Zacharia Berks, of Dead Tone and Space Pope Egregious 1
Daniel Scribner, author extraordinaire
Trigger warnings include sex and violence.
WARNING: EXPLICIT CONTENT. STRONG LANGUAGE & ADULT THEMES.
Wednesday Dec 07, 2022
Wednesday Dec 07, 2022
We play a VHS tape for our listeners with a biography on ping-pong enthusiast and occasional Academy Award-winning actress, Susan Sarandon.
Written by Andy Slack
Performed by Andre Luc Martinez
Mixing, mastering & sound design by Ethan Ireland
Music tracks: "Black Cream" and "Absynth" courtesy of Karl Casey at White Bat Audio
Visit our website at http://thecinemaniasociety.podbean.com/ for more Profiles in Cinemania, our conclaves where we scrutinize and judge the weirdest films in cinema history, the incomparable art of Andy Slack, and more!
Legal notice: this is a work of parody.
Wednesday Dec 07, 2022
Wednesday Dec 07, 2022
**NEW EPISODES DROP EVERY TWO WEEKS***
The Cinemania Society, a not-so-secret society of movie geeks, convenes to scrutinize, criticize, analyze, satirize, brutalize, and otherwise vamp on the weirdest films in cinema.
In the first episode of our Halloween-appropriate seventh conclave, the Society analyzes Tony Scott's 1983 neo-gothic '80s erotic vampire thriller "The Hunger.”
In this episode:
The Interloper won't go away...and ends up as Pontifex of Presenment because she's actually prepared.
The Opening Titles...BUT WRONG.
The Interloper gets an official title: Auntie Hope, Keeper of the Books (NOT Bookkeeper)
We meet the Godfather of Goth
Argument over the definition of an orgy
Tiny Necklace Daggers (TM)
Research Monkey Death Match '83
Brother Methuselah gets An Idea
Scrutinizer Zacharia schools us on the Goth Subculture.
'80s Latchkey Parenting Failures
Auntie Hope's Sexy Cello Memory
Meeting Dr. Snoop L. Jackson
David Bowie: The only man since 1960 who can get away with wearing a fedora and trench coat
Bowie becomes Old Bowie via rapid aging
'80s solo roller disco having a Flashdance moment
Cinquisitor Ethan relates some history about Sacramento-area serial killers and lead/crime theory.
Stranger Danger not being a thing in the early '80s
A grisly puddle that used to be a tween
Burning garbage for heat the way they did in the Before-Times
Too many goddamned doves and too many goddamned poop jokes
Passive-aggressive vampire mummies
Auntie Hope's recipe for a "The Hunger" themed cocktail
Cinquisitor Ethan is a patronizing bastard and Repositor Andre is VERY patient.
Let's hear it for Dan Hedaya!
Flirtation telepathy
Lesberotic vampire voyeurism
The love scene that established '80s film sex tropes: gauzy curtains vs. erotic androids from the future
Professor Andrea versus Brother Methuselah--
"The Hunger" as prophecy and a deep dive into the AIDS crisis
A surface analysis of Catherine Deneuve's love life
Suspicion over European gift-giving
A HUGE bloody steak
Hungry glances & wistful sighs
A top-of-the line monkey lab and battle arena (THE MUSICAL!)
Possibly the first screen appearance of Willem Dafoe, and an attempt to avoid getting herpes from a public phone
Profligator Daniels seeks office supplies of a general medicinal nature and encounters Brother Methuselah
Susan Sarandon's sexy flop-sweat wriggling
Cinquisitor Ethan admits to having baffled a U.K. national treasure as a teenager
A goth-girl equivalent of the suburbanite kid with too many stuffed animals
The ouroboros eats its own tail yet again
Judgement! Judgement! Judgement!
Oddly-sweaty scientific rationalizations for vampires
A Fap Film for the Ages
Bowie is like bacon
FEATURING:
Hope Bravo, former keeper of The Laughing Tome, a family friendly occult bookstore
Andy Slack, comic artist / internet comedian of Dune Sietchposting & Star Trek Shitposting
Ethan Ireland, formerly of Smosh (seasons 2009-2012)
Andre Luc Martinez, of Genshin Impact and Onyx Equinox.
Zacharia Berks, of Dead Tone and Space Pope Egregious 1
Daniel Scribner, author extraordinaire
Trigger warnings include sex and violence.
WARNING: EXPLICIT CONTENT. STRONG LANGUAGE & ADULT THEMES.
Wednesday Nov 30, 2022
Wednesday Nov 30, 2022
We play a VHS tape for our listeners with a biography on the queen of the mysteriously beautiful (or beautifully mysterious) ice-maidens, award-winning actress Catherine Deneuve.
Written & Performed by Andrea Palladino
Mixing, mastered & sound design by Ethan Ireland
Music tracks: "Horizon" and "Reflections" courtesy of Karl Casey at White Bat Audio
Visit our website at http://thecinemaniasociety.podbean.com/ for more Profiles in Cinemania, our conclaves where we scrutinize and judge the weirdest films in cinema history, the incomparable art of Andy Slack, and more!
Legal notice: this is a work of parody.
Wednesday Nov 23, 2022
Wednesday Nov 23, 2022
**NEW EPISODES DROP EVERY TWO WEEKS***
The Cinemania Society, a not-so-secret society of movie geeks, convenes to scrutinize, criticize, analyze, satirize, brutalize, and otherwise vamp on the weirdest films in cinema.
In the final episode of our spooky season-appropriate seventh conclave, the Society analyzes Tony Scott's 1983 neo-gothic '80s lesberotic vampire thriller "The Hunger.”
In this episode:
The Opening Titles...RIGHT! (sort of)
Suspicion over European gift-giving
A HUGE bloody steak
Hungry glances & wistful sighs
A top-of-the line monkey lab and battle arena (THE MUSICAL!)
Possibly the first screen appearance of Willem Dafoe, and an attempt to avoid getting herpes from a public phone
Profligator Daniels seeks office supplies of a general medicinal nature and encounters Brother Methuselah
Susan Sarandon's sexy flop-sweat wriggling
Cinquisitor Ethan admits to having baffled a U.K. national treasure as a teenager
A goth-girl equivalent of the suburbanite kid with too many stuffed animals
The ouroboros eats its own tail yet again
Judgement! Judgement! Judgement!
Oddly-sweaty scientific rationalizations for vampires
A Fap Film for the Ages
Bowie is like bacon
FEATURING:
Hope Bravo, former keeper of The Laughing Tome, a family friendly occult bookstore
Andy Slack, comic artist / internet comedian of Dune Sietchposting & Star Trek Shitposting
Ethan Ireland, formerly of Smosh (seasons 2009-2012)
Andre Luc Martinez, of Genshin Impact and Onyx Equinox.
Zacharia Berks, of Dead Tone and Space Pope Egregious 1
Daniel Scribner, author extraordinaire
Trigger warnings include sex and violence.
WARNING: EXPLICIT CONTENT. STRONG LANGUAGE & ADULT THEMES.
Wednesday Nov 16, 2022
Wednesday Nov 16, 2022
We play a VHS tape for our listeners with a biography on high-impact action film director Tony Scott.
Written & Performed by Andy Slack
Mixing, mastered & sound design by Ethan Ireland
Music tracks: "Upgrade" courtesy of Karl Casey at White Bat Audio; "Fightertown" courtesy of Meteor at meteormusic.bandcamp.com
Dvorak Symphony No. 9 in E Minor, "From The New World," 2nd Movement provided courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
Visit our website at http://thecinemaniasociety.podbean.com/ for more Profiles in Cinemania, our conclaves where we scrutinize and judge the weirdest films in cinema history, the incomparable art of Andy Slack, and more!
Legal notice: This is a work of parody.
Cinquisitor Ethan,
Keeper of the Lenses
Brother Ethan is an award-winning filmmaker who has more than 20 years professional work in film & television production. He has worked on more than a dozen feature films, and has directed & produced several of his own projects: documentary features and short films. He is best recognized for the work he did on four seasons on the hit YouTube comedy series Smosh.
A self-styled intellectual, Cinquisitor Ethan has put many thousands of hours studying cinema apocrypha for interesting tidbits, and combing through the history for cinema for sources of CINEMANIA in order to study the devastating effects of this condition.
CINEMANIA Manifestations: The disorder in Cinquisitor Ethan can be fairly easy to observe. Although he is purportedly a native of California, when CINEMANIA begins to take hold in Cinquisitor Ethan, his accent becomes increasingly elaborate. He will shift into a Midatlantic accent, and even into an RP accent depending on the severity of the episode he is suffering. This can happen multiple times in a given conclave.
Verifier Andy,
Master Illuminator
Perhaps our most mysterious member, Brother Andy lurks somewhere in darkest Albion, magically honing his skills in comedy and illustration to a razor's edge.
Brother Andy's internet comics, including The Wisdom of Leto II and its sequel, FremCops, have achieved notoriety from their appearances in various Facebook shitposting groups such as Dune Sietchposting, Star Trek Shitposting, and others. He has these and numerous other self-published sci-fi & fantasy comics available on at andyslackcomics.com, and for sale on Ko-Fi.
In case you're wondering, no, he is not really Jack Black, so don't ask.
Scrutinizer Zacharia,
Guardian of the Door
A veteran of theater production, Brother Zacharia graduated from film school at California State University, Monterey Bay along with Brother Ethan, who has been his decades-long accomplice in the commission of cinematic crimes.
Brother Zacharia is a third-generation artist, descended from a line of visual artists, and has put much study into the causes and effects of CINEMANIA.
Profligator Daniel,
Possessor of the Word
Hailing from New Jersey, Brother Daniel writes for theater, literature, and cinema esoterica. He is somewhat of an expert on Troma Films, and was trained in writing short fiction by Harlon Ellison.
Profligator Daniel is the primary caregiver of Brother Clark-Nova, who is an unholy amalgamation of equal parts cockroach, manual typewriter, and portions of human anatomy best left unseen.
Arbiter Alessa,
Voice from the Outer World
Our youngest member, Arbiter Alessa attended film school in Los Angeles after producing a feature film of her own while still in high school. She has experience working professionally on features and shorts, and is a working voice actor for several notable anime series including Genshin Impact and Onyx Equinox.
Arbiter Alessa recently went on an extended vacation to Altair IV, where she encountered an atomic super-robot similar to (and more importantly, legally distinct from) Robby the Robot. After taking her new plastic pal on an interstellar pub-crawl, she returned to the Strip Mall of the Damned with the machine in tow, where she has since conducted several experiments on it (including the downloading of the entire internet into the robot's databanks).
Professor Andrea,
Scholar of San Francisco
Professor Andrea holds multiple degrees in film, Spanish, and music; and has taught all three. She has a deep knowledge of film history, and a history of work in film production, including on films with Cinquisitor Ethan.
Auntie Hope,
Keeper of the Books
Hope is a relative newcomer to the Society, and to the field of CINEMANIA as a whole. She granted herself membership status and a title after the Society were responsible for unleashing a horde of cannibalistic humanoid underground mutant people (C.H.U.M.P.s) that destroyed her family-friendly occult bookstore, The Laughing Tome. She intends to be as underfoot as possible until her store is repaired.