Meet The Fellowship of the Lens'd Palm
A list of the members of our Conclave.
The Cinemania Society Podcast
Herein are chronicled the judgements of this not-so-secret society as its members scrutinize, criticize, analyze, brutalize, and otherwise vamp on the weirdest films in cinema history.
Listen on:
Episodes
Wednesday Dec 18, 2024
Wednesday Dec 18, 2024
In this episode, the Society wraps up its review of 1998's "Six String Samurai" and has its final showdown with Death Themself (tm). Will the Society survive? More importantly, will our sanity and sense of good taste survive? Find out in this, our Season 2 finale...
FEATURING SPECIAL GUEST STAR KEITH LOWELL JENSEN
The Cinemania Society will return later in 2025. We will have a few more miscellaneous episodes to wrap things up before the break, and then the occasional tidbit to tide you over until Season 3. Thanks to everyone for the support and for sharing this with friends. And if you haven't shared with your friends, why the hell haven't you already?! We've got over 100 episodes for them, so tie 'em to a chair* and make 'em listen to all!
Sound design by Ethan Ireland
Music by Karl Casey at White Bat Audio
Incidental music courtesy of Epidemic Sound
*This is a joke, not incitement, please do not actually tie anyone to a chair. At least not without consent. We're not kink-shaming.
Wednesday Dec 11, 2024
Wednesday Dec 11, 2024
Given that two of our recent field reports have remarked upon films from a particular year, Auntie Hope decided to take an extended dive into the year 1979 to present a Cinemania Field Report on what turned out to be a landmark year for CINEMANIA.
This is a work of parody / satire and should not be construed as a statement of fact.
Written by Ethan Ireland, Andy Slack, and Hope Bravo; and performed by Hope Bravo
Music by Meteor at meteormusic.bandcamp.com
Tracks used: The Spell, Saints and Demons, Thaumogenesis, Suspended in Time, Smoke Trails, Emptiness
Image used courtesy of Wikimedia Commons under Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0
Image has had text alterations.
Wednesday Dec 04, 2024
Wednesday Dec 04, 2024
Lost within the world's largest smallest model of New York City, the outcasts find themselves on the run from their Final Destination. But not even Death Themself can stop a Conclave once the Clave's gotten Conning! The heretic rogues continue their analysis of Lance Mungia's "Six-String Samurai," a style-over-substance post-a'rockalypse samurai musical from the late '90s, starring Jeffrey Falcon (no, really!) and featuring a soundtrack by Russian Rokenrol group The Red Elvises.
WITH SPECIAL GUEST STAR KEITH LOWELL JENSEN
Wednesday Nov 27, 2024
Wednesday Nov 27, 2024
Verifier Andy, Master Illuminator, presents a Cinemania Field Report examining Disney's 1979 foray into live-action sci-fi horror, "The Black Hole," and his own experience suffering a case of creeping CINEMANIA from (of all sources) a book about this film.
Written and performed by Andy Slack
Music by Karl Casey at White Bat Audio
LEGAL NOTICE: This is a work of satire / parody and statements made herein should not be construed as making allegations or statements of fact.
Cassette tape stock image by WayneStock provided courtesy of WikiMedia Commons and appears under the Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License. Image has been modified to include text.
Deed: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/
Waynestock_Mixed_Tape_Shirt_Design.png
Source site: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Waynestock_Mixed_Tape_Shirt_Design.png
Wednesday Nov 20, 2024
Wednesday Nov 20, 2024
The remaining survivors exiled from the Strip Mall of the Damned find themselves in the world's smallest largest model of New York City. The place is in ruins, which leads Scrutinizer Zacharia to take the lead by proposing the latest conclave: Lance Mungia's 1998 film "Six-String Samurai," a rockin' and rollin' post-apocalyptic alternate future where a Buddy Holly lookalike strides across the ruins of the Old World seeking to claim the mantle of King.
Wednesday Nov 13, 2024
Wednesday Nov 13, 2024
Cinquisitor Ethan submits a field report about the 1979 film Lucio Fulci's "Zombie," a/k/a "Zombi 2," a/k/a "Zombie Flesh Eaters." This knock-off-slash-sort-of-sequel to George A. Romero's 1978 film, "Dawn of the Dead," isn't widely known, yet it's highly influential and features some grave sources of CINEMANIA.
Listen at your own risk.
Written and performed by Ethan Ireland
Music by Karl Casey at White Bat Audio.
Tracks featured: "The Wraith," "Dark Thriller Theme," "Dark Thriller Loop 1," "From the Deep," and "Boarding Nostromo."
Extract from "Zombi 2 Theme" by Fabio Frizzi (appearing between 11m56s and 12m48s of this program) is presented here as non-profit /educational "Fair Use," for purposes of criticism / comment as provided under U.S.C. Section 107.
LEGAL NOTICE: This is a work of satire / parody and any statements should not be construed as statements or allegations of fact.
Cassette tape stock image by Thegreenj provided courtesy of Wikimedia Commons, and appears here under CC By SA 3.0 "Share Alike" license. This image was modified to remove brand logos and to add text.
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Compactcassette.jpg
Wednesday Nov 06, 2024
Wednesday Nov 06, 2024
The Cinemania Society's 16th Conclave begins with a peek into the deliberations of the Cinemania High Council, who call upon the unthinkable to implement the ultimate sanction...
Wednesday Oct 30, 2024
Wednesday Oct 30, 2024
The Cinemania Society's 2024 Halloween Special is a piece of new fiction by frequent contributor and friend of the pod, Patrick Ireland. In this spooky story, a bibliophile finds herself trapped in a bookstore after hours.
Written by Patrick Ireland
Performed by Andrea Palladino
Editing & sound design by Alessa Luz Martinez
Opening / closing title music by Karl Casey at White Bat Audio
Track used: "Black Lotus."
Cinquisitor Ethan,
Keeper of the Lenses
Brother Ethan is an award-winning filmmaker who has more than 20 years professional work in film & television production. He has worked on more than a dozen feature films, and has directed & produced several of his own projects: documentary features and short films. He is best recognized for the work he did on four seasons on the hit YouTube comedy series Smosh.
A self-styled intellectual, Cinquisitor Ethan has put many thousands of hours studying cinema apocrypha for interesting tidbits, and combing through the history for cinema for sources of CINEMANIA in order to study the devastating effects of this condition.
CINEMANIA Manifestations: The disorder in Cinquisitor Ethan can be fairly easy to observe. Although he is purportedly a native of California, when CINEMANIA begins to take hold in Cinquisitor Ethan, his accent becomes increasingly elaborate. He will shift into a Midatlantic accent, and even into an RP accent depending on the severity of the episode he is suffering. This can happen multiple times in a given conclave.
Verifier Andy,
Master Illuminator
Perhaps our most mysterious member, Brother Andy lurks somewhere in darkest Albion, magically honing his skills in comedy and illustration to a razor's edge.
Brother Andy's internet comics, including The Wisdom of Leto II and its sequel, FremCops, have achieved notoriety from their appearances in various Facebook shitposting groups such as Dune Sietchposting, Star Trek Shitposting, and others. He has these and numerous other self-published sci-fi & fantasy comics available on at andyslackcomics.com, and for sale on Ko-Fi.
In case you're wondering, no, he is not really Jack Black, so don't ask.
Scrutinizer Zacharia,
Guardian of the Door
A veteran of theater production, Brother Zacharia graduated from film school at California State University, Monterey Bay along with Brother Ethan, who has been his decades-long accomplice in the commission of cinematic crimes.
Brother Zacharia is a third-generation artist, descended from a line of visual artists, and has put much study into the causes and effects of CINEMANIA.
Profligator Daniel,
Possessor of the Word
Hailing from New Jersey, Brother Daniel writes for theater, literature, and cinema esoterica. He is somewhat of an expert on Troma Films, and was trained in writing short fiction by Harlon Ellison.
Profligator Daniel is the primary caregiver of Brother Clark-Nova, who is an unholy amalgamation of equal parts cockroach, manual typewriter, and portions of human anatomy best left unseen.
Arbiter Alessa,
Voice from the Outer World
Our youngest member, Arbiter Alessa attended film school in Los Angeles after producing a feature film of her own while still in high school. She has experience working professionally on features and shorts, and is a working voice actor for several notable anime series including Genshin Impact and Onyx Equinox.
Arbiter Alessa recently went on an extended vacation to Altair IV, where she encountered an atomic super-robot similar to (and more importantly, legally distinct from) Robby the Robot. After taking her new plastic pal on an interstellar pub-crawl, she returned to the Strip Mall of the Damned with the machine in tow, where she has since conducted several experiments on it (including the downloading of the entire internet into the robot's databanks).
Professor Andrea,
Scholar of San Francisco
Professor Andrea holds multiple degrees in film, Spanish, and music; and has taught all three. She has a deep knowledge of film history, and a history of work in film production, including on films with Cinquisitor Ethan.
Auntie Hope,
Keeper of the Books
Hope is a relative newcomer to the Society, and to the field of CINEMANIA as a whole. She granted herself membership status and a title after the Society were responsible for unleashing a horde of cannibalistic humanoid underground mutant people (C.H.U.M.P.s) that destroyed her family-friendly occult bookstore, The Laughing Tome. She intends to be as underfoot as possible until her store is repaired.